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Can we be a family?

I hate this!! I hate this!! I hate this!! My parents are fighting again. And I feel like if I talk to one over the other that I am taking sides. Thus, is the way of the only child. So we didn't all eat dinner together tonight and my mom is thinking of not coming home tomorrow, what does this mean? I hate when they fight and don't talk because then I am like the mediator between the two telling one what the other says. No child, I know i'm not one anymore, should have to put up with that crap. As I know espicially that orcapotter might remember was when I was so happy that my parents didn't talk for months when I was in 9th grade. I was so happy b/c I thought maybe they would get a divorice and all this would be over. No kid ever wishes that their parents seperate but I did. Now, I don't know anymore. I can't wait to get out of this house, but I know I can't afford it.

You fight about money, bout me and my brother (<--don't have one but it works)
And this I come home to, this is my shelter.

You may all know how my mom goes around hugging everyone when she sees them. She was always the coolest mom. Well I hated it. I even told her to stop it. I felt like everyone liked my mom and I was just the package deal. She hugs everyone else but not me. I never get hugged. People are always giving other people hugs, but it's stange for me. We never hug in my family. So I often back off and don't know what to do. I don't know how to hug. But now everyone wants to hug evryone, and I want to feel the love to so I am trying to hug. I just need a hug I guess.

It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done
my family

I ate so fast to just get back in my room, that I am currently starving. I don't know what to do. We don't have a lot of snacky foods in the house. I'm hungry.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 6th, 2005 04:40 pm (UTC)
For different, yet similar circumstances, I often yearn to get out of the house and live on my own. As much as I love it here and know that no matter what, moving will be one of the most difficult steps of my life, life here at home is getting "itchy" and there are times that I just want to have my own space beyond my room.

As for hugs, you know I'll always be here to give you one ^_^ Hugs are great. You just have to open up. :-)
Jan. 6th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I just can't afford it. I know that it will be hard for me and yet the same time it will be easy.
Jan. 6th, 2005 04:40 pm (UTC)
Come over here so we can watch Sex and the City. No, really, come over. I'm not doing anything tonight 'cept worrying myself silly about tomorrow.

*hugs* The rents here fight a lot too but not too fiercely. Those are rare. I remember my mom leaving for a long time one evening, and my dad and I had to skip dinner 'cause we didn't know what to cook and didn't want to go out.

Okay, Tina, not helping.

I too want to get out of here as soon as I can. Perhaps we can move into an apartment together one day? ;)

*hugs tightly again*
Jan. 6th, 2005 04:47 pm (UTC)
Actually you did help. It's nice to see my parents aren't the only ones like that. But i'd love to come over but I really need to finish cleaning my room, not that that is really getting done. Thanks for the invite though.
Jan. 6th, 2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
Man I am sorry that things are so rough right now. It does really suck being caught in the middle, especially when you did nothing wrong. You are a pretty insightful person...I am sure you will figure out what to do!
Jan. 6th, 2005 08:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the compliment. No one has ever told me I was "insightful" even though I kinda know I am. My parents aren't talking right now but i'm sure it will all blow over.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


[kh] coloredmanga Namine
Ani aka random hogwarts student #7

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